September 25, 2011

THE BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER


Dear Wife:

I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good.

I’ve been a good man to you for seven years, and I have nothing to show for it.

These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today, and that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home and didn’t even notice that I had gotten a new hair cut, cooked your favorite meal, and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.

You came home and ate in two minutes, then went straight to sleep after watching all your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore, you don’t want to have sex anymore or anything. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore.

Whatever the case is, I am gone.

Your EX – Husband

P.S. Don’t try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia together!

Have a great life!



Dear Ex-Husband:

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It is true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been.

I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn’t work. I did notice when you got a hair cut last week. The first thing that came to mind was, ‘You look just like a girl!’, but my mother raised me not to say anything, if you can’t say anything nice. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating steak seven years ago.

I turned away from you when you had those silk boxers on because the price tag was still on them. I prayed that it was just a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your new silk boxers were $49.99.

After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So, when I discovered that I had hit the lottery for Ten Million Dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica .

But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess

I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that with your letter you wrote, you won’t get a dime from me.

So take care.

Signed,

Rich and Free!

P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this but Carla, my sister, was born CARL. I hope that’s not a problem.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

10 comments:

Puteri Maisarah Sofea said...

hahaha .. lelaki tu adalah sangat merugikan .. but nice letter ! orang kata kalau dia bodoh sbb tinggalkan kite, jadi kite kene jadi pandai untuk lepaskan die.. =)

Mama Kembar 3 said...

hahahah! he got what he deserved ;-)

ked said...

muahahaha..pdn muke die!

Hanih Borhan said...

hahahaha...besh besh!

mula2 dok baca mcm kesian kat laki tu...pastu bila baca letter bini dia, nak padan muka & gelak2 pulak kat laki tu...hahahahaha

Yatie Awang said...

hahaha...setuju ngan Hanih Borhan, akak mula2 kesian jugak kat suami tu, buang tuah betullah..

yana,, said...

nice story sis!!

KaK LimAh Si SupiR said...

ahahhaa..memg terkena kan laki dye..kakak dye 2 sbnr ny laki..kik3 :P

AdaNaz87 said...

baru je nak jadi sentimental terus senyum lebar. padan muka dekat lelaki tu. ;p

Iffah Afeefah said...

haha bangang gile

sengal

tak lart gelak

msredcheesecake said...

puteri...agree...

hanih... serve him right...

iffah... gelak biar berpada...

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